Family Forte: Lessons from the Redwoods
Shazia’s family captured this sacred moment when she sat in the Redwood Forest, the catalyst for Family Forte at Retreat House
What can a forest teach us about family?
For Shazia Anwar, physician, life coach and Retreat House board member, the answer began among the majestic redwoods of Northern California a few years ago. With her training as a scientist and her natural curiosity, Shazia found herself captivated not only by the beauty of the trees, but also by the intricate relationships that allowed them to thrive as a forest. Visiting some of the most disturbed areas of the forest, she observed how resilience, connection, and mutual support shaped the wellbeing of the entire ecosystem.
That experience sparked a question that ultimately made its way back to Dallas, and now to Retreat House: What if the wisdom of the redwoods could help us better understand our own family systems?
Over the past two years, Shazia has researched the science of the redwood forest. She has gathered observations, read extensively, and through those discoveries, she created Family Forte: Lessons from the Redwoods, a unique Retreat House program that explores family relationships through the lens of a Redwood Forest. The program offers a gentle, non-threatening way to understand the roles, patterns, and connections that shape every family, without focusing on blame or dysfunction.
The title of this initiative,“Family Forte,” evolved from an initial conversation about the deep desire to spread the message of hope and resilience to all families. It was through our relationships and conversations at Retreat House that the concept was enriched and developed into this inspirational offering.
"As a scientific observer, I wanted to understand the essentials of healthy systems," Shazia explained in a recent conversation. "While there may be storms on the outside that we cannot control, creating a peaceful, safe environment within the family is achievable and essential."
Family Forte grew from Shazia's conviction that many of society's deepest challenges—family violence, neglect, abuse, and disconnection—are symptoms of deeper disruptions within family systems. By exploring concepts such as responsibility, respect, authority, and belonging —all while using a metaphor of the redwoods — participants are invited to see their own families with fresh eyes and renewed hope.
Knowing that each participant brings unique lived experiences, no two journeys are the same. Some people discover greater clarity about family dynamics. Others leave with practical tools for healthier communication. Many participants will experience a softening—a calmer perspective that opens the possibility for healing.
The program has also become a collaboration with Retreat House founder, Lil Smith, whose work in compassionate listening beautifully complements Shazia's vision.
"As the redwoods live in circles that support one another," Lil explained, "there is an exchange of energy that supports and promotes life and wellbeing. In compassionate listening, the only expected outcome is freedom."
That spirit of compassionate curiosity lies at the heart of Family Forte. Through thoughtful conversations and engaging activities, participants learn to listen with respect, to speak honestly, and to recognize that every family member contributes to the health of the whole family. Shazia also offers Family Forte directly to individual families, adapting activities for children and adults so that each person can better understand their unique place within the family "forest."
Lil believes this model offers hope that extends well beyond a single household. "One healthy voice can instigate a positive change," she says. "A healthy family system can directly impact the other systems in which the family and individual family members are a part."
Ultimately, Family Forte is about more than understanding relationships. It is about discovering resilience. Just as the redwoods remain rooted together through storms, families can learn patterns of compassion, respect, and connection that help them weather life's inevitable challenges. As Shazia explains, “Just as the Redwoods develop and protect their own micro environment, families can learn the essentials in their own ecosystems of compassion and respect.”
Retreat House Core Values are edified in the Family Forte initiative. From the sharing of individual sacred stories, with the degree of brave vulnerability that comes with such sharing, people of all denominations can explore similar (and different) life experiences with their own family systems, while cultivating stronger understanding of roles and functions within family systems, and with one another. All these experiences speak to our own core values of Brave Vulnerability, Cultivation, Cross Pollination and Sharing Sacred Stories. In addition, with the compassionate and welcoming approach that both Shazia and Lil bring to Family Forte, the entire community is tenderly wrapped in chesed: loving kindness, hospitality and compassion.
Shazia's hope is simple but profound: that every participant leaves with a renewed sense of possibility—finding strength within their family, greater understanding of one another, and confidence that even small shifts toward compassion can nurture healthier families and, ultimately, a healthier community.
Click here for additional information about Family Forte. You can check out our calendar for the August program, learn more, register or contact Shazia directly (shazia@retreathousecommunity.org) with questions.